Effort?

So, if you know me you know the Jon story. So, I'm not going to go into details. Anyways, something must have came along and smacked him in the face and said "stop being a total dipshit!" (would like to use other words, but I'll play nice). The past two week he has made more of an effort to be around Boston. He has stopped by after work, if he's in town. Granted it is for about 10 minutes before Boston goes to bed, and although I don't like giving up MY putting him to bed, I reluctantly let Jon put him down. Boston needs Daddy time too and it's not about whether I want it or not, its about Boston needing it. Period.

Guess I should be happier about it, right? Nah. It just doesn't seem like enough to me. He never volunteers to take him for the day, never asks if he can have him and go do something with him. Nothing like that. He takes him on Sundays, for now, and that is apparently too much time alone with his child. It's like he can't handle it, I dunno. Drives me nuts! I had tried to discuss with him about how our weekends would go, I mentioned Jon taking him every Sunday but then every other Saturday as well. Thinking he would WANT to spend a little more time with his kid since he's gone during the week a lot. Now, I said "tried to discuss" because when I bring up something he doesn't like or doesn't want to talk about he ignores the question and goes to a different topic. Also drives me nuts! He intentionally ignores me thinking I'll just let it go and then when I get pissed about it, he doesn't seem to understand why I'm mad...? Grr! So, I asked him Friday if he would take Boston on Saturday because one of my friends was having a Pure Romance Party. Now, I've never been to one and I didn't really care to go but felt bad saying no. Jon said "well, uh...Jason had planned a poker tournament for tomorrow night..." WTF?! You're choosing a f'ing poker tournament over your son?! That's how I saw it, at least. So, I blew up. He, of course thought it was all about me and my wanting to go out and get drunk and blah, blah, blah. I didn't WANT to even go! That wasn't the reason I got mad! I got mad because he just can't handle being a father by himself and its irritating! So, even though I shouldn't have, I told him he couldn't have him on Sunday because my Uncle was in town and everyone was going to Jessica's to watch the Packer game. Thinking maybe he'd get a lil upset about that. Nope, not a word about it. It's like he was perfectly fine with not having him. Couldn't care less. Blows my mind.

Yes, he's been "trying" harder to be there for B but only when it is convenient for him. As usual. God forbid he give up anything he wants or wants to do for his kids!

Grr!

That's my rant. I swear, my next post will be better. There are just some things I don't understand that break my heart and piss me off at the same time.