Jon and I are giving our relationship a second chance. I couldn't leave, it felt wrong. I started packing and just felt sick to my stomach. I want so badly for Boston to have both of us in his life as much as possible. I'm afraid that if Jon and I broke up for good that he would barely see his son. I know that that is not my responsibility but in a way it is. I don't think anyone really understands just how hard it is to just walk away. As I said before I don't see myself with him for the rest of my life but I couldn't just leave without really trying. Unless somethings big changes, which I don't really see happening because we have no money to go to like...counseling or anything, then I don't know how long we'll be together. It's also hard because he is really struggling with money, and I also feel bad for his daughter. I think these things and then I also think that I can't spend my life taking care of his problems, I just can't. I'm hoping that once he can change his insurance plan that Madison is on, that money wont be so tight and he'll be able to find somewhere to live. I don't know...blah...
On the bright side I now have two part time jobs. I'm working at Sears Holdings, where Jon works, and also at Aeropostale. I'm working in the same department as Jon so we see each other a bit. Our schedules are different so its not like all day. The Aero job is as a Sales Lead, so I'm gettin' paid pretty well. For both being part time I should be bringin' in pretty good money. Hopefully one of them goes full time soon cuz even after just one week the hours seem nuts!
But....ya gotta do what ya gotta do...
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