Gotta Learn..

I'm trying to make myself realize that no matter how angry I get or how much I bitch, Jon is going to be...Jon. I've tried for 3 years to break him of the negativity, 2 1/2 years to try and get him realize that pool should not be his number one priority, and 2 years to break him of other stupid guy habits that girls always try to break guys of. So....I wasted 3 years of my life. Ok, I can't say wasted because I got an absolutely AMAZING child out of that time.

Point is...I should know by now that he isn't going to change. Period.

I worked all day today. Jon didn't. Did he ATTEMPT to see his son? No. Nothing. BUT...he was able to go hang out with friends and watch football and pretty much act like he doesn't even have a child. Course, not until he wants to...

Now, this pisses me off. Immensely! Makes me wanna find him and punch him in the nuts. Makes me want to call him and ask him what the fuck his problem is?! Pardon the language but thats how pissed I get.

I don't want it to effect me so much. And I know I shouldn't. Just have to keep telling myself that one day Boston will just know. He'll know that when it really comes down to it, his father is a pathetic excuse for a Dad.

I don't want to think badly of Jon. And I honestly feel sorry for him because I don't think he is intentionally being a moron...I think he just doesn't know what he's doing. His father wasn't in his life. He has no clue. Problem is he's been given suggestions and he takes them as insults instead.

On a good note, I have a meeting with a lawyer on Tuesday about custody and child support. Hopefully we can get this all figured out, to a point, before X-Mas. Because I really don't want Jon taking him out of the state by himself with no laws to stop him from staying gone with my child. Even if it is something temporary, it needs to be done.

Hopefully after that my posts can go back to happy and wonderful! lol