Single Mother

Being a single mother sucks.

I've heard Dr. Phil barf out stats about how *this percentage* of single mothers live in poverty, and *this percentage* of single mothers blah, blah, blah. Which, I never really paid attention to...until I found myself AS a single mother. Yes, I have an INSANE amount of support and help from my family and I am unbelievably thankful for it all. (Although I totally suck at showing it. Sorry guys!) Honestly, I can't even imagine where I would be if I didn't have them. It just wouldn't work, I wouldn't be able to do it.

I don't want to make single mothers out to be Goddesses or anything, but I don't think that other parents (who have a partner), can even begin to understand. Me not having a guy to help me out on a daily basis, or even financially...EVER, is what I would consider like you (couples) having triplets. F'ing nuts!

I know I got myself into this entire thing and I have not a single regret. Look at this child...how can you regret ANYTHING of which the outcome was this child!?

Impossible.

I feel bad for him. I wanted more for him. I wanted him to have what I had growing up, and still have. I hate the situation I'm in and would give anything for it to be different. For him to have his mother and father, together and happy. Never gonna happen. Not a chance. The only thing I can hope for is that he looks to my father and my brother-in-law, Steve for his example of how to be a man. It'll kill me if he ends up treating people the way his father does. (Or really, being anything like his father)

Sometimes I feel like I have a sign hanging above my head that says "single mother". Maybe it's just me but I feel like people look at me differently than they do couples and their children. I don't necessarily care what they think but it kind of makes me feel... pitied? Looked down on? Not sure what it is.

We went to Kids Fest tonight. Just myself and Boston. I have no problem going places just the two of us, I really like it actually. But I wish it were different, for him. I wish he had a 'family'. I know he doesn't get it right now but it breaks my heart just the same. We did a 'Family Flag' where you make hand prints on a canvas then write your names on it. There they were...my hand print and his...that's it. I saw all kinds of people who had all kinds of hand prints on theirs. Makes me sad...

I want the world for my child and would do anything for him to have it.

Love You Bossy!