Two Weeks

Scott has be gone for two weeks. It's been difficult to get used to. We used to go out to lunch at least twice a week. We'd take Boston out to dinner at Applebee's every week. He was there...he was always there and now he's just gone. But not even really GONE...its not like he died or anything but he's just not there.

We Skype every once in a while, and email at work. Communication has naturally become less and less. Which, I suppose is a good thing. I don't want to cut him out of my life completely, not now. I know eventually we will go our separate ways and lose touch and find other people but I'm still having a hard time letting him go. Like I've said, I know its the right thing and I know that we could never really have what I want (even though I don't really know what that is). But my heart is still stuck on him. We've gone back and forth between just never talking again and still keeping in touch. It's hard for both of us. He says that he never thought it would be this difficult and that he would really miss me and Boston as much as he does.

It has gotten easier. MUCH easier. But there are still times I lay on the couch and wish he was with me. He was always so warm...it gets me to just go to bed though, so maybe its a good thing...? I dunno. Boston mentions him every once in a while and says he misses him. I'm not entirely convinced he grasps the concept of missing someone. He'll say his misses Presley right after we leave my parents house...but still. It's cute but it breaks my heart. Although Scott wasn't the best with him he was still THERE (which is more than can be said for someone else we know)...Speaking of which, there's another blog post to come soon with an update on that pathetic excuse for a human.

I feel pretty good today. Other than possible pink eye (thanks, B) my body feels good, my brain feels good. And even when I think about Scott or email him it makes me smile, more remembering what we had instead of what I lost. Sounds stupid and I know my family didn't really approve but I don't care.

I deactivated my Facebook account last week. It just became too much. I was on it too much and people annoyed me too much and my brain was just in complete overload. I need a break from it for a while. Since I did I've been fine, I don't really find myself wanting to look at it. I pick up my phone to look out of habit but just put it right back down. I have enough crap going on in my life, I don't need to read about everyone else's problems. :) Those who need to talk to me have my number and can call or text. Other than that I'm cutting myself off from the world for a while.

I will have to update on other things after volleyball tonite.

Back to work!