Looking Up

It's been over a months since I've written anything. That's normal for me though. :) Lots has happened. I decided to give Scott another chance. The more time I spend with him the more he seems to have really changed. I still have a hard time opening up like I did before and being completely at ease with everything. I sometimes just feel like its a 'stage' and the switch will flip at any moment, and he'll go back to being the man he was before he left. I hope that itt doesn't happen...but it still scares me that it could.

Things have been great. He's been much more involved with Boston, including picking him up from my mom on Wednesdays and taking him places for 'guy time'. He's picked him up from her on days I've had to work late. I was sick last week and Scott even changed a couple diapers (not the poopy ones tho, he's a wuss), he made breakfast, got Boston dressed...all the stuff I've never really had before. It has always been me, I've always done everything. It is taking some getting used to, I'll admit. I'm just so used to getting up and getting Boston ready and fed and all that. It is nice to be taken care of.

Since, according to Scott, we've pretty much been dating for almost a year we have been discussing some things. Me moving into his house for one. May seem like a big step and I know some people are thinking its a big mistake. Well, guess what...I'm almost 29 years old, I have a 2 1/2 year old son, a good job, and my own place. I've struggled a lot...and I fully take responsibility for the way my life is. The choices I've made may not have been the best, may not have been right but they are my own and while times may get tough and I may get down sometimes...I love my life and am lucky that I have the things I have, the son I have, the family I have and the health I have. Chances are taken in every relationship and I am taking my chances with Scott. Moving into his house has a lot of benefits for all of us. If it doesn't work out, at least I know now that I can make it on my own and Boston and I will be just fine.

I have my eyes wide open, heart guarded, and mind conscious. I'm a grown up, I'll be just fine and so will my child.

That being said, if you don't like my choices...that's fine. I'll hear you out. BUT I would also expect them to be respected. I'm sure there are things that other people do that I do not agree with but I would not disrespect it.

There's probably more I could write but I should get to work!  :)